contemplating the nature of things....

can great intelligence be a curse? i wonder if it is hasn't been so in my case, i worry and overanalyse, live too much in fear of what can go wrong. not at all good. i look at the people i work with, who seem to go through life far less concerned with things, just having to worry about paying the bills and how the kids are doing in school and who will win the footy this year. it makes me sad that i have to worry about going out the door, or whether i will be up to dealing with people, not knowing whether i will be up to making small talk, knowing that my inability to network and communicate is robbing me of opportunities for advancement in work and in peronal relationships.

social phobia is a disease of the worst kind, and it sucks to have to live with it and try to overcome it.

ff5

well, my inner geek is happy, with the return of sci-fi fridays in the states, which means sci-fi sunday mornings for me. new battlestar galactica and stargate, hooray!

a small ray of joy in my otherwise meaningless and dull existense, and a reprieve from the summer television desert...

see you in the movies.

ff5

i like playing lotto, i just hate it when i don't win anything. after i went to all the trouble of downloading some software to dredge through nearly 18 years of results and spit out winning numbers. it obviously didn't work this week. oh well, back to casting entrails to pick my numbers...

yours in poverty

ff5

so late at night, can't sleep! i haven't drunk anything at all this week, it's a friday, why am i sober? i usually have a few bacardi and limes under my belt by now, safe in the knowledge that the mind numbing effects of the alcohol are working their usual magic and i am falling asleep. it's not as if i have much of a life here, i get up, i go to work, i come home again, i sleep i get up, i go to work, i come home again, and so on and so forth. is this the despairing life of all the working classes? where is the joy? what is it that keeps us going? some days i have a hard time seeing it.

whatever....

ff5

having a blog, that's so 2003 isn't it? so being it's 2006 i thought it was time to get one. and one day i might start using capital letters, even though they interrupt the stream of consciousness. in any case this is my blog, and will someday contain a bizarre list of rantings on art, religion, politics and anything else i can think of, written in both sober and not so sober states of mind.

until then.......

ff5