there are things i should do more often, like up date my blog!

anyway...

so far this year i have managed to:

have 2 vacations

get fired from my job

fall in love

get dumped (yesterday in fact), and yes it still hurts a lot.


so i find myself out of work again and very much single again, not quite where i wanted to be. i have to wonder how the universe works to bring me to this place, what purpose, and what awaits me. all mere speculation at this point.

ff5

another friday night, this time with bourbon and coke zero fueling the silliness, and the soundtrack provided at this time of the night by wilson pickett.

you cannot help but feel good when you listen to soul music, it's not just the alcohol, it's the music, not that i want to analyse the fun out out of it, but it is just so relentlessly positive and life-affirming.

go, eat drink and be merry, enjoy, wilson pickett, enjoy sam and dave, booker t and the mg's, smokey robinson, otis redding, jackie wilson, and all the rest.

yours soulfully

ff5

i checked, it seems i have never been featured in blogs of note.

not surprised really.

does anyone actually read this?

in any case i enjoy the relative anonymity i enjoy in this world, i value the acknowledgment of those i care about more than complete strangers, of whom i demand only the rapt and rapturous adulation and fawning toadying arse kissing.

anyway, today i am on holiday for a week or so, so i will going to see the desert, to find solace in the solitude and silence of the outback. i will hopefully find something of myself out there and come back more real than when i left.

lets think about loneliness for a minute, i am all alone in this universe really, i have dear close friends, and i would like to believe there is something akin to a supreme being who we can get close to through spiritual exercise, and i sure hope that i will find someone with whom i can live out my life, whom i can learn to love, but ultimately we are all single isolated units, seeking to huddle together in the face of what is a cold and impersonal world, with a very uncertain future.

maybe we all need more love in our lives, maybe the thought of love, the hope of finding true love and the peace it brings is what we need, i know that somedays it is all that keeps me going. hope is both a blessing and a curse.

love to you today

ff5

blog not dead, hooray!

this is good as i could not log in to post for the longest time, in fact the best part of a year. now i can and i can crap on again to my hearts content.

does anybody actually read these things though? if not, well who cares anyway, as nice it would be to be an audible and recognized voice above the static, sometimes it is easier to just remain in anonymity.

be that as it may, what has changed in the last 9 or 10 months of inactivity? absolutely not much at all is fairly accurate a description. i can only conclude i am trapped in some dark alternate dimension where time slows down (but by a cruel twist of fate it is fleeting as well) and people are all indifferent to anyones struggle save their own.

join me as i struggle to escape to the dimension of light and love.

darkly yours now

ff5